he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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