Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
smell my finger.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
