No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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