Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
