My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
