I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
