we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
