well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think i got beer on your cat.
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