I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I still have a little drunk in my system
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
