we have officially lost it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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