just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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