Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
