When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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