I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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