this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
