i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
