I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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