got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
