oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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