i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
