did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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