found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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