Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
