we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
