I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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