I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
