Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
