I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
