it was like eating out sand paper
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize