Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
