So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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