When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
