apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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