i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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