I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
