I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
