I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
