Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
