You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
