i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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