Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
