I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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