I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
