who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my shit smells like andre
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So. Much. Porn.
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