Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
