I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
