Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
