You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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