haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
