i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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