we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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