can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
