Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He kissed a someone with a penis
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
