1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
