on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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