White coat. Heels.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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