Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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