i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
