I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
