Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
