oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
