is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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