like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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