honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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