is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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