Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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