I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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