So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
