I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Small penises have feelings too.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize